Diary Entry of a Fighter

mo_sheaJuly 14, 2012: In my life I have dreams; I have also gone to many places that when I left, I always felt like I would return for a different purpose. This is how I landed here in Ventura, California.  I can honestly say I came out here on a feeling. I felt after five weeks in Mexico, and after formally parting ways with Global Boxing, there were two things I knew. God had a new plan for me and I had so much more to accomplish in the ring.  I had so many things going through my mind and had felt so many emotions, anger, hurt, confusion, disappointment and fear.  I love the sport of boxing and it pains me to see when people come along and use athletes selfishly for their own gain.  Quite often, once the athlete serves their purpose, they dismiss them and move on to their next prey.   

Anytime I went through hard times on the east coast I would go to California to visit my family and for a change of pace.  This was the perfect time to visit again.  Coming out here was temporary at first. After some time I knew, in order for me to find my happiness and get my focus back on training I needed to stay out here.  The first few weeks were hard. I felt lost and didn’t know where to begin. I prayed A LOT!  I faced a few obstacles and made some poor choices. But I learned and remembered a few things too.  One thing I remembered was that less is more and to keep it simple. I also remembered that keeping a schedule always worked for me.  I missed my friends on the east coast. A visit wasn’t as easy as a drive anymore.  The first few weeks out here were an adjustment period.  I knew my friends and family back east wanted what was best for me and would be there for me no matter what.  The Bronx community has always supported me.  I can’t express how fortunate I am to have such a wonderful support system in and out of the ring.

I feel we create our destiny and “Luck” is simply preparation meeting opportunity.  Faith, determination and perseverance play a huge role in all of this. Fear can creep in from time to time but it is the company that I keep that reminds me God is guiding me. This is what helps me to stay focused.  Challenges arise, sometimes I cry, sometimes I get angry. Sometime I take my anger out on those closest to me; sometimes I push those closest to me away.  Sometimes when I feel I am on the right road I realize I have made a “wrong turn” and have to re-plan.  Someone close to me said, “There isn’t a perfect science to it, all you can do is your best”.  This is exactly what I am doing.  I have a new found focus and have been reminded that the best gift we can give ourselves is the gift of allowing ourselves to be happy and know we are deserving of that happiness!    I am looking forward to getting back in the ring and doing what makes ME happy!